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I. L O V E. Fall.

And for the past many years I have been without. No colors changing, no pumpkin patches, no caramel apples, no hay rides or hot apple cider and smores while snuggling around a roaring fire.

Is it any wonder I went completely crazy and escaped back to the Midwest?

Especially for me who absolutely LOVES HALLOWEEN. I had a good 5 boxes of Halloween decor that came with me to Chicago. Including a life size skeleton which would have sat next to me for the 30 hour drive had I not been lucky enough to procure a co-pilot in Albuquerque... (The labor there is so CHEAP!) Sigh, I do regret not slapping him behind the wheel just for photo's sake...

So September came and went and then here came October and suddenly something in me clicked. I ACTUALLY get to enjoy FALL! I get to bake with pumpkin and not die of heat exhaustion when the 375 degree oven makes my AC turn on in October... I get to enjoy FRESH APPLES! No such thing as fresh apples in AZ... Unless if by fresh you consider 3 week old grocery store pithy vile things. My carved pumpkin wont ROT within 3 days from the SUNS GAMMA RAYS of DEATH. No more MICROWAVE smores... Yay!

But really, bottom line? Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin!

In the coming weeks we plan on buying some pie pumpkins so we can roast our own and make fresh puree, but till then, to satisfy my cravings, I went and bought myself that old standby can of Libby's pumpkin and baked up some Scary Chocolate Drizzle Pumpkin Scones.

I call them "Scary" because you can easily eat the whole batch... and because unbeknown to me, I bought the last can of pumpkin in the tri-state area due to a "pumpkin shortage".

Gasp!! The horror...

The goods:

1 1/2 C All purpose flour
1/2 C Cake flour
2 T sugar
1 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1 t cinnamon
1/2 t nutmeg
1/4 t allspice
1/4 t ginger
6 T butter
4 oz. cream cheese
1/2 C pumpkin puree
1/3 C buttermilk
1/4 C maple syrup
1 t vanilla

The deal:

Preheat oven to 375°

Cut the butter into small pieces and chill out in freezer.

Cut the cream cheese into small cubes and chill in freezer with the butter. You want the cheese to be slightly frozen.

Mix together the pumpkin, buttermilk, syrup and vanilla until well blended and then also chill out in freezer. Of course as I am quickly learning, you could also just put it out onto your 32° window ledge if you happen to live in Chicago by the LAKE...

Now, in a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, spices and salt.

Retrieve the butter and blend it into the flour mixture with a pastry blender or your fingers. This mixture should look like coarse crumbs.

Now do the same with the cream cheese, only less vigorously. You want to see the cream cheese chunks. Do not pulverize them.

Okay, add the buttermilk mixture to the flour and mix just until the dough comes together. Do not over mix. Remember. Want to see chunks of cheese... Cheese good.

Dump this mixture out onto a lightly floured surface, knead a few times to form a flat circle about 1.5" thick and 7"- 8" round. (I tried saying "form a disc" but I kept typing in dick dick dick and I am TRYING, to almost no avail, to keep this site family friendly... god dammit...)

Now cut this circle into 8 pie slices and place on a cookie sheet and put that cookie sheet on top of another sheet so that the bottoms of the scones do not burn and slide it all into your oven...

Bake at 375° for approx 15 minutes.

Remove from oven and let cool. (As opposed to leaving in the oven to cool which, yea, doesn't work...)

The Chocolate Crack Glaze

While the scones are cooling pour 4 oz chocolate chips into a glass bowl. Heat 1/2 c of heavy whipping cream to a boil. Pour cream over the chocolate and slowly stir until blended. Add one T of butter and stir till smooth. Drizzle over scones.

Lick spoon.

Lick bowl.

Fall into sugar coma.

Bribe your friends and family into doing anything you want with the mere promise of one of these amazing scones.

The weekend after I moved into my MASSIVE apartment in Chicago, Lollapalooza came to town. A weekend of lewdness and drunkenness and bawdy lascivious women and I decide to leave for the weekend. NICE HUH? Who makes these plans for me?!? I had this massive kitchen in which to cook and create... and here I was leaving.

Yes, YOU DO remember what my kitchen looked like right?

Seriously - it is THAT small. That is a real penny. Was my change from laundry. The laundry room is bigger then my kitchen.

Actually it is bigger then my apartment. But I still lurve it.

I decided after I got back from my weekend (which, I may add contained some debauchery, some bread, a few beers... did I mention debauchery?) that I wasn't going to let such a small kitchen scare me into a life of carry out. I could still cook and boil and maybe even saute' in my lil kitchen. Ooh and maybe even bake! Oh yea, this winter mah teeny little apartment is so going to smell like fresh baked bread and cookies and cupcakes all season long and it is so going to RULE! (But it won't ever smell like cranberry walnut bread. I'm just saying...)

However tonight, I craved a nice & healthy light dinner for myself. Something tasty and satisfying, and not to heavy. So over carryout from Jimmy Johns - I retro-fitted my lil kitchen, and chopped my way into Tabouleh heaven.

In case you were wondering, tabouleh is a bulgur and parsley salad, that is not only yummy, but rather healthy as well. It fills you up and is chock full of fiber and antioxidents - it was just what I needed after the two beers I enjoyed with my #12 unwich.

Here are your required ingredients:

2 bunches of fresh parsley (1 1/2 cup chopped, with stems discarded)
(Traditionally curly parsley is used here, however I prefer flat leaf Italian.)
2 tablespoons of fresh mint, chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
4 medium tomatoes, diced
1/3 cup bulgur
3 - 4 tablespoons lemon juice
3 - 4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 t salt (to taste)
1/2 t pepper (to taste)
dash of cayenne (again... TO TASTE)
optional - left over cucumber (diced) from last nights peanut butter and cucumber pop tart swammich. (I so ROCK the eating for one adventure!)

First - soak the bulgur in cold water for 1 hour.

Drink a beer or 5 while waiting... then,

Chop the parsley:

(I propped my cutting board over my mini-stove top to make room for all the ingredients. It didn't quite work.)

Then chop the mint, the tomatoes, the onion, and you get where I am going here right? It is tabouleh - not bioengineering.

Toss all the chopped goodies with the drained bulgur. Top with the olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste. Then add the cayenne and stir to incorporate. You can serve it immediately with pita or leaves of romaine, but I like to chill it for at least an hour. Mmm yum!

My kitchen is Tabouleh friendly! Yay! Next up little kitchen - chateaubriond. Chateaubreoind? Chateaubriand!! Ah screw it. Chocolate Chip Cookies!...

Be afraid.

This morning I awoke to a bunch of brown bananas, which really irritated me. I am trying really hard to not buy and waste produce. It is a HUGE part of my weekly shopping list, but it always seems like lettuce or peaches or tomatoes are being forgotten and ultimately tossed out. Why is it I never forget to drink the beer? Anyway, my ire lasted all of about 1 minute, because I opened the fridge and noticed the 2 pints of blueberries I bought yesterday morning.

Jackpot! It's muffin time. Banana blueberry muffins to be exact. Oooey gooey banana-berrylicious pour a cold glass of milk and sit down muffins. Okay, usually only bacon illicit's a sit down before you fall down approach, but these are amazing.

Who's belly is growling? I distinctly hear a growling belly... don't try and fight it, you want one.

Banana Blueberry Muffins

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
4 over-ripe bananas
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1/3 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 1/2 cups fresh or unthawed frozen blueberries
1 tbsp. all-purpose flour


Preheat oven to 375° F and line the muffin tray with paper cups. I chose Halloween cups, but feel free to use any you like. Except St. Patrick's Day. That's long past  - just save those for next year.

Combine 1 1/2 cups flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a bowl.

In another bowl, smash bananas; add sugar, egg and melted butter; mix well. Add banana mixture to bowl with flour and mix until just moistened; do not over mix. This is not a time to show off your mixing prowess.

Dust blueberries with 1 tablespoon flour and gently fold into batter.

Fill muffin cups about 3/4 full and bake in the oven for about 30 minutes or until golden brown. Remove and cool on wire rack. Burn mouth eating muffins before you allow them to cool. Dance around kitchen cussing to yourself under you breath for scorching your tongue. Repeat.

Get baking now and thank me later. Muffins make Monday's not so unbearable. 

Did the past month seem like a foggy messy blur? It could have been my damn lingering head cold. Maybe the tanking economy? Possibly that Mercury has been in retrograde for the past three weeks. Day's like these make me crave feel good foods. And nothing makes me feel more indulgent, more gratified or more happy then my Bacon, Apple and Brie sandwich.

Start with the following:

Yes, brie isn't a cheap cheese, but hello - coupons and a sale made this wedge $2.99. It can make 10 sandwiches. (or 4 depending on your cheese rations.) And mmm BACON. Everything tastes better with bacon. Just make sure you get some good bacon. Please don't get that slimy bacon in the shrink wrapped packages that costs two times as much. ACK! Go to your butcher. Get some apple smoked bacon. You will thank me later.

Have everything you need? Let's begin. Toast the bread.

I use a yummy bakery fresh 7 grain bread from my local grocery store. AGAIN - bakery fresh - and less expensive then brand name pre-baked preservative laden bread. TRUST ME.

Slice your apple thinly.

I use a Mandoline to get nice thin slices, but eh - any knife will do. Don't use too juicy of an apple. I find a granny smith work's best. If it is too juicy, blot with a paper towel.

Next. Cook the bacon. Mmm.

This is just a gratuitous bacon shot really. We all know what cooked bacon looks like.

Time to assemble oooey gooey greatness:

On the previously mentioned toast, spread mustard lightly on one piece, and lay sliced brie on the other piece.

Pile sliced apple on top of the brie, and the bacon on the mustard toast. (Mustard toast???) Put the bacon blessed mustard toast (again with the mustard toast?) on top of the apples...

Eat slowly while seated to avoid fainting from amazing-ness.

I feel better just looking at the photo's don't you? No kidding. Off to the kitchen. Catch you tomorrow for the first installment of FRUGALICIOUS - part of Bossy's Poverty Party.